We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
