Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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