You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
