Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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