At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
