I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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