i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
