Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
