that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
