I'm gonna have a badass scar
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
