someone threw a dead crab at me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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