I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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