Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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