Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
