Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
