I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
