just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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