she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
