For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
