So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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