So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize