Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
