i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i have two assholes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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