So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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