I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i love accidental penises.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
