It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hello my rib-scented angel!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
