Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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