Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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