Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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