is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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