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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.

  Fav 27 4253 1155

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

  Fav 54 1875 14047

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex

  Fav 16 5946 1302

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

  Fav 14 2121 3773

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• (801): View more from Utah

  First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.

  Fav 8 3214 1264

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• (727): View more from Florida

  let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.

  Fav 5 2007 890

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• (206): View more from Washington

  before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

  Fav 14 2335 1004

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

  Fav 11 968 1822

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• (951): View more from California

  I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.

  Fav 33 2204 1264

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.

  Fav 19 2516 997

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.

  Fav 11 1852 788

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• (518): View more from New York

  Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.

  Fav 1 895 756

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.

  Fav 11 803 809

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list

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