i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And my parents said I crawled through the house
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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