I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
