That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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