Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize