He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
