your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
