Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
