false alarm. still invincible.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
