dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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