what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
