I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
