An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize