I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize