I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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