my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
