You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Mom said you looked used
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize