I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
