got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
