All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
