No stitches, just platelets and will power
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
