i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
