I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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