If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
