He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
