So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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