big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
