sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
