Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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