Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
