Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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