i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize