I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
did i just pee glitter
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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