I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
