I love black thongs
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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