I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
