Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
