Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
