I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
